Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
[x]

deviantART

 

They Fell For Eachother by ~EphemeralFemininity:iconEphemeralFemininity:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Romantic > Teen or Young Romance > Fixed


Her toes just barely brush the woodland floor,
                               Of the gallows that would only sing once more.

                               For now that she's hanging her lover must go,
                                  He's lead on with the executioner in tow.

                               Their only crime and conviction was passion,
                            That they expressed in such ostentatious fashion.

                             I guess this was more than enough to condemn,
                           These lovers two lovers that started out as friends.

                                  One after the other people came to see,
                          Both kids were hanged from the branch of that tree.

                                Long after they were laid to rest some say,
                             Their ghosts linger there still in the light of day.

                                 And you can still see them lost in a kiss,
                             Their lustful manner even death couldn't miss.
©2006-2010 ~EphemeralFemininity
:iconephemeralfemininity:

Author's Comments

Alternate title: The Song Of The Gallows... I like the current title better though... it's a little satiracle. But yeah, tell me what you think!

Comments


love 1 1 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconyulrath:
~Yulrath Mar 30, 2006, 7:07:00 PM
This is quite good; in fact, there's nothing I'd change. It flows very smoothly, it's very well written. Nice job.

--
-I am the heavy wind the brings the storm; the gentle wind that strokes your tears; the steady wind that carries your sails...the calm wind that lifts your wings.

-Belief yields.

-Warning: I'm a terrible visual artist, save maybe photography.
:iconerwilzei:
!erwilzei Mar 30, 2006, 8:06:18 PM
Excellently written. Very glad I decided to watch you.
:iconephemeralfemininity:
~EphemeralFemininity Mar 31, 2006, 9:08:02 PM
Thank you so much for the comment and the fave, it is very much appreciated!

--
God never give us more than we can handle, but I think he assumes I'm stronger than what I really am.
:iconblind-prophet:
~Blind-Prophet Apr 1, 2006, 10:53:27 AM
You've capitalized the even lines, which shouldn't be cause they don't start the sentence. The first line is off to one side, which might not be what you wanted.

Other than that, its rather mushy yet well done. Great job! :star:

--
Interested in taking down that drug-dealing Trix Rabbit? Note me: ~Blind-Prophet

=Hogwarts-Castle <--Cool stuffs.
:iconephemeralfemininity:
~EphemeralFemininity Apr 1, 2006, 9:37:44 PM
I definately couldn't get that stupid line moved over as hard as I tried. The even lines are capitolized 'cuz I wanted it that way, I know, weird huh? But yeah, thank you for the compliment! Did you notice the irony in the title?

--
God never give us more than we can handle, but I think he assumes I'm stronger than what I really am.
:iconquestionableemotion:
~QuestionableEmotion Apr 3, 2006, 11:15:44 AM
O, I just got the irony in the title, I like it alot...! The only thing I would change is this part...These lovers two lovers that started out as friends... I would have it say "started out just friends" But thats personal prefrence, I feel it flows better. But the question is, why werent they able to have the passion?

--
-Albert, Good luck exploring the infinite abyss.
-Hey, You too.
:iconephemeralfemininity:
~EphemeralFemininity Apr 3, 2006, 4:38:55 PM
I had this picture in my head of the scarlet letter, way back in the day... so like they were both married but found eachother too late... so they hung for their desire for one another... ya know?

--
God never give us more than we can handle, but I think he assumes I'm stronger than what I really am.
:iconblind-prophet:
~Blind-Prophet Apr 5, 2006, 1:41:26 PM
Double entendre? :O_o:

--
Interested in taking down that drug-dealing Trix Rabbit? Note me: ~Blind-Prophet

=Hogwarts-Castle <--Cool stuffs.
:iconquestionableemotion:
~QuestionableEmotion Apr 12, 2006, 1:40:33 PM
You need to read "the pact" you can borrow it of you want.

--
-Albert, Good luck exploring the infinite abyss.
-Hey, You too.
Previous Page12Next Page

Details

March 30, 2006
1.3 KB

Statistics

11
2 [who?]
164 (0 today)
9 (0 today)

Share

Link
Thumb

Site Map

©2010 deviantART. All rights reserved
About Us | Contact Us | Site Tour | Help & FAQ Advertise | Services Etiquette | Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | Copyright Policy